If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
