i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize