All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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