I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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