So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
