we're chasing vodka with high fives
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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