A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
