Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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