He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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