so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
