I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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