My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
