I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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