Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
