You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
