no you cant smoke seaweed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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