I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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