I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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