Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
