She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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