dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
