no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
