is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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