i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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