I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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