she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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