Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
