First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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