i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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