The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
