oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
