so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
