Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
