I think i peed on brittanys purse
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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