Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
