Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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