I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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