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I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
