So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
