problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
