I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
