My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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