I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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