p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I supernannyed him into submission
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
