That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
