we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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