How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
