Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
