Pants 0. Shit 1.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
