he was CRYING into my vagina
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
