i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
