I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
