I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
