Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
