Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize