hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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