Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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