Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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