Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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