I think scott just propositioned me for sex
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
