He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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